Can I Handle the Truth

The famous line from A Few Good Men, "you can't handle the truth", unfortunately played a big part in my life this week. My family has certainly had its ups and downs like most families. Two and a half years as a single mom of young adults can yield a stress level that I wish upon no one. Not taking away from the stress of teenagers, which is a bigger stressor in a different way, but this week was a tough one with more complex issues.

Complex on a number of levels but for me, I finally asked the hard questions and understood that my kids are,100% my responsibility when they are with me. The co-parenting concept is great for the younger children. I really can't imagine how hard that must be for a couple that can't get along. My heart goes out for them. For the most part, my kids were old enough to share there dilemmas, fears, pain and sorrow with me and we continue to work through things together. I did not have to go through a long period of time of trying to raise kids while co-parenting.

Some of my most important and hardest parenting has been over the last two and years though. I have some friends with young adults that are on a stellar path but most have a child that hasn't quite figured out what they would like to do or how to succeed in reaching their goals. Perhaps Covid has affected many kids in ways that I don't even understand myself. I see a group of young adults trying to figure out a new set of problems that I never even knew could exist. Then, for my own family, the divorce still has a tremendous set of challenges on top of the craziness of the last 21 months.

I started a new job recently, which I love, however, the learning curve is huge. In fact, the job is huge. I have been working long hours combined with a long commute. After 6 weeks of pouring myself into my job, to the point of getting sick this weekend, I came home Friday and had an argument with my son. He said some things that I didn't agree with and I was quite upset.

A double whammy, he finally told me how he felt about an issue I asked him about several times. When he answered, I was defensive and hurt. His response, don't ask if you don't want the truth. I wouldn't say we made up, but we hugged and had dinner together. He apologized the next day for snapping. My response was, maybe it was time to get out his feelings instead of holding them in.

As hard as it is, even when the truth is painful, I grow and learn. I can handle the truth. Sometimes the harsh reality can cause real trauma, but I do believe it makes me reflect and grow to become a better person from it. It was a tough week. I handled two truths I really didn't want to deal with, but there is a sense of relief in knowing and not speculating. Freeing actually. As I write this, I am realizing the future only holds more positive life experiences due to the honest answers to the questions I ask. That can only in the long run, be better for us as a family.