Just Keep Swimming

My therapist, Tiffany, reminded me this week that it is not taking a step back when the hurt is so bad that you just want to cry but it is like swimming to an island. We go from one to another and they are all different but we are moving, not backwards but moving. This move that I about to make has been surprisingly difficult. I find that sometimes I am not able to function even though I know I have a house to pack. Sometimes I sit and don't accomplish anything. Tiffany informed me that she read a research paper about this and unlike what we think, it is not about being lazy or an avoidance issue that sometimes we can't follow through with tasks, but that we are afraid of the emotional trauma that is triggered.

On top of the move triggering so many thoughts that remind me it is another "end" in my life as I knew it, I had to recently find a baby picture of my daughter. All of the photo albums are packed so I checked on my phone. In May of 2015 I had posted a splitpic of her now and then for her birthday. As luck would have it, I still did not find the baby pic but I did start to scroll through the camera roll. I ended up with a PTSD reaction when looking at the summer photos. We had been in NJ visiting my family and my ex was acting off. After several confused days, I actually went into the bedroom and shed a few tears because something was amiss. It was a terrible feeling then and it was equally as horrible remembering how I felt now. I had no idea what was happening at the time but the anguish was/is real.

My mood has definitely lightened up as this week progressed and I owe it to the kindness, support, as well as time spent with me, from my friends this week. I am so blessed to be around an amazing group of supportive women. From very good acquaintance's to good friends to my closest besties, I have felt the love this week. You have all helped me through a challenging time that I was not prepared for. I am forever indebted and hope that I can also be there if you are ever in need of a shoulder to cry on or a garage sale buddy or help moving.

A few of the Magical Acts of Kindness I have had the pleasure of receiving this past week:

Flowers from a stranger

Various leads for house rentals

Invitations to stay at homes if Delia and I can't find a place to live by the closing

Lunch and dinner dates

Compliments on the inspiration I gave for NCL

Listening and offering feedback on that inspiration

Offers to help me pack

Staying at my garage sale to keep me company

Dropping off items to sell at the garage sale with a side note of, "keep the money

The simple yet poignant questions, "how are you doing?", "can I do anything to help?", and "if you need anything, I am here for you?"

Honest critique of the blog

Driving me so I didn't have to in the dark

Assisting in posting on Offer Up

A shoulder to cry on

Having extended family keep in touch

Job leads

There are so many more but the last one I would like to acknowledge was another stranger that I met. I looked at a house that I would like to rent. The current renters are vacating the 20th. I need to be moved in by the 5th. Her and her husband ended up at my garage sale today. She offered to empty her garage so that I could move my belongings in so that I would still be able to get the home and stay with someone until they move out. It never ceases to amaze me at how much kindness the world has to offer, reminding me, just keep swimming.