The Only Way Out

I really should be packing right now as I am getting down to the wire. My garage has been set up for a sale for several weeks now. I was planning to do one last push this weekend before the move to sell as much as I could. The weather does not want to cooperate though, so I need to pack it up. It is a such a daunting task that I am avoiding it by writing instead...

And revenge is so loud and the drums are so proud

But, oh, I'm in a cage and I hear mercy say, "I'm here now"

And it's the only way out - The Only Way Out by Andra Day

I can't stop thinking about these words, especially today since it would have been our 22nd anniversary. Andra ends her song with an absolute, Mercy gave me my way out. How I long for the out. I still struggle sometimes with a myriad of feelings that are not always positive... hurt, abandonment, inadequacy, and sometimes even anger. I happened to pick up a book today and coincidentally opened to a page describing Grace and Peace.

Grace-love*favor*MERCY*goodwill*kindness*blessing*FORGIVENESS*beauty*elegance

Peace-calm*harmony*lack of anxiety*acceptance*serenity*contentment*silence*quiet

Grace and Peace certainly go together. I am praying for the ability to have all the mercy necessary to forgive, to forget, to move on. So many times over the year I have gotten the message to love your neighbor and to forgive. And I do, for the most part. I want to move on and I truly want "my neighbor" to be happy. Sometimes though, I get stuck wishing he was happy with me and our family.

Reality check.... he was not. So mercy and grace and probably a bit of humility comes into play. Sometimes acceptance takes longer than what you expect. Sometimes what you wish for isn't always the right answer. I believe that God has a plan and we learn from all of our experiences. I know that grace and mercy are mentioned many times in the Bible, but I know I have received the message loud and clear over the last year that I was to love my neighbor. It is not that I ever stopped loving my "neighbor". I need to truly forgive to move forward, with mercy in order to have peace.